Tuesday, April 16, 2013

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times

According to the legend, the Dynamic Physical Therapy powered by Pathfinder Cycling Team rode the race of the year this past weekend at the Clarksburg Grandprix.  As the story has been passed down, no mortal man could make a move without having one of the superheroes that comprise the team, use their superpowers to counter the moves and neutralize the field and their efforts. And when all of the cards had been played, the strongest of those superheroes simply rode off the front of the field and attempted to bridge the gap to the lone break that was able to get away.  In the end, Todd Hauber crossed the line in 2nd place over all in the talented 3/4 field, and Jerry finished 2nd in the WV State Criterium Championship.
Todd Hauber representing Dynamic Physical Therapy powered by Pathfinder on the Podium in 2nd place overall

Jerry Audet representing Dynamic Physical Therapy powered by Pathfinder on the Podium in 2nd place in WV State Criterium Championship 3/4 Race

JR, Jerry, Billy, Todd, and EJ all raved about how well the team worked and how happy they were with the end result. "A true team effort"... "the best we've ever ridden"... "so awesome to be a part of that"... etc.  But I wouldn't know, I had been dropped like a bag of hot dog poop. After about lap 8, the only time I saw any action is when I finally got lapped by the leader with 5 to go, then Todd and his VT coworker with three to go, and finally the field with 1 to go. I still can't put into words, the feeling of disappointment and despair that I felt following the race.  Our team area was all stoked because of the fantastic end result. I was thrilled for the efforts of my teammates, but I quietly hung my head and felt ashamed that I had let the team down.

And I know when they read this post, or we talk about it prior to the next crit, or as we discuss it in one of the countless facebook threads we share in the course of a week, everyone is going to be like it doesn't matter.  It may not matter to the team, but it matters to me. I do not like the feeling that I haven't carried my fair share. I didn't expect to be on the podium, but I certainly didn't expect to be dropped like I was... time to step it up. Im going to channel this disappointment and let it fuel my efforts in the weeks to come. I'm going to let it eat at me from the inside out and drive me to work harder to become faster, stronger, and a more well rounded teammate.