Dear Tour of Tucker County:

Dear Tour of Tucker County:

I do not have very many nice things to say about you following our yearly date this past Memorial Day weekend.  Up until our last date you have always been my favorite race of the cycling race season.  As a boy who likes to climb you give me a nice, long, category 1 climb to the finish line of the race.  However, this year you decided to take my wheels out from under me long before I would even reach the finishing climb.  Oh yeah, you could say our date started out good when you let about 15 of us get off the front including myself and my good friend and teammate Derek.  But then after only an hour of racing you took me down and you had to take me down on a decent.  What’s that all about?  You destroyed my fancy carbon wheels, my left shoe, a new Kenda tire and my very pretty Dynamic Physical Therapy kit made by Nalini Custom that highlights my big ears and bird legs quite nicely!  Plus, you also took some of my skin and that was not cool.  I always sleep on my left side and thanks to you I have not been able to do that since our date.  In stead of my hemorrhoids burning and itching it has been the road rash you left me with.  What did I do to you to deserve this treatment?  Did I not always show you love and respect during our prior two dates?  What gives?  And now I bet you are thinking that it is over between us and that you will never see me again.  Well guess what honey bun………… you’re wrong!  I will be seeing you next 2013 Memorial Day weekend and I fully expect you to show me some love by keeping my wheels underneath me at all times and leaving my skin attached to my body.  Oh, and one more thing.  Don’t even think about laughing at my pink cleats because if it wasn’t for you I would still be wearing my original cleats!

Love……….Not so much,

Billy

P.S. Next year I will “leave my expensive Flux-Capacitor and fancy wheels at home.”